“Our ability to dream is greatly impacted by our self confidence.” – #IDARETODREAM
I decided to write this blog in bold writing because this topic about self love and self confidence to me is very strong, impactful, and valiant.
Sharing about my experience and journey on how to learn to love myself again was hard and makes me vulnerable.
It took a lot of self talk, and friends and family to continuously remind me about my worth and accomplishments; describing me by using words like: beautiful, strong, hard working, badass and loving.
Truth was, my self love tank shrunk down to the size of a bottle cap. It was 2 years ago when I spent a whole year to try to understand what it’s like to love yourself again.
Although, I knew where and what I wanted to do in life, something was getting in my way. It was like this dark cloud was hovering over me and I didn’t know how to get it to go away. All I knew was that this feeling didn’t effect my work life. I knew this because I continued to receive opportunities and acknowledgement. This emptiness that I felt affected me internally. I walked around with a mask on my face. Aside from my best friend and sister, others always saw me smiling, laughing, and joking around with people. Nobody saw that I was in emotional agony. Even though I was successful and doing everything right, I still wasn’t happy with my self. I didn’t feel like anything that I did was enough – that I was enough. It was a terrible mindset.
Then one day, I went on a hike and reminisced on all the good times I had with this one human being. I started to self reflect. By doing this, I realized that just because one person did me wrong and made me feel awful things, didn’t mean I wasn’t worth it; although it felt that way sometimes. This realization is what made me become relentless in reaching my dream goals. From that point on, I felt excitement and happiness. I accepted, respected, and appreciated myself as a whole. It felt like a “eureka” moment. I started accepting and believing all the nice inner and outer beauty compliments. I chose to allow myself to make mistakes and not to berate myself for making them. I chose to not question the things that I did for the one person I fell in love with because it was never done with the intention to cause harm or hurt. This thought process and change allowed me to grow into a stronger person, as well as an ego- and that’s not a bad thing. I became confident again and I felt like I was back to my normal self. It was the best feeling ever.
I believe that self confidence starts with self love. When you love yourself, you don’t seek for approval. I for one am still practicing self love. It’s not a destination. It’s a foundation – the pillars that keep you up and grounded. So I encourage you all to step outside and take a breath of fresh air.
Join Kleyra and I at the Dare to Dream Soirée event on November 22, to help the “Free To Be” program raise funds.
–Written by: Kelly G